Blood, death, training, violence – if this is my inspiration, how do I retain the soft? I turn. I do an about face. I look at these SEALs, taking in their training, devotion, brotherhood, and yes, violence, and I turn back to my life. I turn back to flowers, slow mornings, dresses, warm drinks in favorite mugs, soft blankets, nourishing stews, laughter and tears, children big and small, hugs, and the cooking, cleaning, and laundry. I don’t stay in the masculine world. I turn back to femininity, motherhood, and homemaking. I allow myself to be challenged and inspired, not inspired to go be a SEAL, but inspired in my own work, and just like that we’re back at faithfulness.

As I got away from social media, I got more and more burnt out about social media. How am I getting more burnt out doing less? Is getting over the dopamine addiction to being noticed? I’m used to having my fingers in several different ‘pies’ that let me interact with the internet. I’ve grown used to likes, hearts, and such. Now that I’m not really on social media, I’m not getting that little rush that says someone liked what I had to say. I’ve pulled back to things that cost people: podcasts and blog articles. These aren’t short and quick for the listener/reader or for the writer/producer. They require time and thought.