Marriage is hard, but it is also beautiful. It is beautiful in its teamwork of men and women in a long dance of support, help, leading, following, working together, and working differently so that the whole family grows.

Orderly, wild, intimate. Umbrellas bring these three aesthetics to mind. They’re much like home, like a little piece of home you carry with you when the weather is wetter than normal. A bit of order, a pinch of chaos, and a nestling in close. Homemaking is about our heart-ability to manage the order, chaos, and intimacy of our hearths, to tend our hearths. Its breadth of options is often overwhelming. We want to truncate it or limit it so that we can check off all the boxes and know we did a good job. But the real limits of homemaking are beyond our sight because homemaking is an attitude before it’s an action.

If femininity isn’t defined strictly, what if I’m not being feminine? Welcome to freedom. Freedom is a heart matter. Freedom requires you to judge yourself and not your neighbor, and oh how we hate this. We would so much rather not judge ourselves and gleefully judge our neighbor.

Freedom says you make your home according to your husband’s leading, coupled with your gifts, sensibilities, and tastes, within the bounds of providence.

Using the five senses to manage homemaking requires purposefulness and intentionality. We can’t have our head in the clouds, or be so frantic we’re rushing through life, or so discontent we just wish it all away. Noticing the five senses doesn’t require us to overturn our lives. We start small. It takes time to retrain mental habits. Start by just being thankful for temporary gifts filling this world. Once we start, worship fills our hearts. Thankfulness filling our hearts will go further in making home a delight than all the things money can buy.

God promised us the changing of the seasons and the food that they would produce. Autumn is given to us to enjoy! It is a time of harvest, a promised event, and a gracious act of God. He promised us seasons and every year, when Autumn overtakes summer, God is showing His faithfulness. What is not to celebrate?

How are we supposed to fill our homes with a sense of comfort, enjoyment, nesting, and beauty if we hate it all and don’t see ourselves in it? If we don’t cook food we enjoy, don’t have decorations that we love, and organization that works for us, we’re going to fill our homes with constant complaints. Don’t make the work harder than it needs to be and don’t think you’re somehow more holy if you’re more dour.

What if I’ve attained that which I’ve been working so hard for but just haven’t stopped to notice? What if my life is simple, but my mind and soul are what is still frantic? What if I’m so busy hunting, I failed to realize I’ve arrived?

Food has been a bastion of HearthKeeping from the dawn of time. Men are the breadwinners, but women are the bread makers.

Us cooking nourishing meals, cleaning our homes, washing sheets, encouraging rest, planting flowers, tending our shelters, clothing, and food is tending the church. Who do you think makes up the church?

HearthKeeping is closet-keeping. This means keeping up with the condition, fit, and organization of closets and clothes. But look deeper, this is an element of hospitality and communication. What you wear says something about your husband, it says something about your home, it says something about your homemaking, and it welcomes others or pushes them away.

From the floors to the seats, to the displays, closets, clothes, to the organization, to the plants, dishes, tools, and everything else, we should seek beauty, use beauty, create beauty. Not because it is forever beauty, but because God thinks temporary beauty is important and He has given us things to richly enjoy. We may live our lives here below the sun, but we have an above the sun attitude. We know it is temporary, but because we do it to glorify God, it takes on an element of the eternal.

Holidays break routines. This is a good thing. Broken routines don’t become ruts. Holidays help you see the routine. Holidays give you a break from the routine which helps you appreciate it more. Don’t we all just love January when things get back to normal? Holidays help us appreciate the normal by charging into the middle of it and making a mess. As HearthKeepers, if we see this we can appreciate it, embrace it, and use it.

When our lights are low and the window is large, we look to women who have kept burning. We look for women who have passed through the trenches. We look to the old Sergeant, not the raw recruit, if we want to live through the battle of loving our husbands, loving our children, and keeping our homes.

Attitude change: how about being thankful for a morning that starts with simple things? Take the quiet as a sign that your family is well, fed, and off to face the day. You never know when you might wake up and spend your whole day, or several days, in a hospital watching the people you love face major health issues.

Whatever your heart song is, I believe it will point you back to your hearth and with such diversity as to enrich our world. Our diversity is a gift as much as our heart songs. The rich tapestry of our interwoven lives is one of the great beauties of God’s creation. We’re all similar and all different.

If we want to encourage each other and be an encouragement to other HearthKeepers, we have to embrace the idea that this is where we want to be, that this is worth it, that this is beautiful, and that this is hard work. How can we do that?

We’re all in a fight against sin and what may outwardly appear all the same, may inwardly be sinful or may not. Stay in the fight. Dishes have to be done, but they can be done with grace, love, and humility or pride, complaining, and laziness. Only you and the Lord know where your heart is. 

We don’t become instant Pinterest-worthy, book-worthy, blogging-worthy, Instagram homemakers at the moment we make our vows to our husbands. This isn’t expert-level achieved in 4 years. Homemaking changes too much for that and has too many parts. It is a massive job that becomes more massive the longer you invest yourself in it. You can’t perfect it in a year and you’ll still be tweaking and changing it as long as you’re a homemaker.

The world tells women to band together, that we’re a sisterhood, that we should go out and change the world, abandoning our homes before we’re relegated to only kitchen and nursery work, but reality tells me that the most amazing women I know are busy in their homes. This is sisterhood. This is where we bloom. It is here that we have flexibility.