When I gather at something like a baby shower, with a group of moms all talking about mom things, I feel like a fraud. I can’t seem to untie my tongue to talk about what is so very important to me: homemaking. I feel invalidated by my childlessness.

The tangible, practical elements of our lives are important, but they can also be a shallow trap that pulls us away from the real benefits of our labor, much like living by sight instead of faith. It’s easy to judge things only by the parts we can see. Much of every woman’s work is the repetitive rhythms of days and seasons. But, like living by sight, if we’re not constantly on guard, we can mistake the superficial, visual parts of HearthKeeping for the whole. We will blindly see cleaning and cooking and laundry as the only elements of homemaking and miss the deep, rich world just at the edge of our sight. We will miss the hospitality, comfort, calm, and beauty a skilled homemaker brings to the whole world around her.

Homemaking is no more about being perfect than life is about being perfect. We don’t walk around saying we can’t discuss or share our Christianity because we’re still in the fight against sin. We don’t refuse to let our kids eat because they don’t have refined motor skills. Why do we treat our homemaking this way?

How could washing the sheets be important when my life is falling apart? How can cooking a yummy and nourishing meal be important when our families, extended families, and churches are facing great struggles?

I love the image of a candle in the window, the light shining bright and warm in the cold, dark gloom. I once read that in the past a candle was placed in a window to show those who were away how to get home. It was both practical—keeping your family from getting lost in the dark—and symbolic of safety, warmth, and love. A Candle in the Window.

Are we calm? Do we understand the physical and spiritual good of what we’re doing? Are we cheerful in our work? Or are we distracted, angry, rebellious, mean, snapping, or bored? How do we handle interruption? Do we find elements of homemaking, not necessarily all of them, but elements of homemaking soothing? Can we tell when our family is anxious and distraught and calm things down by our wise work? Are we creating a space around us that is both personal and welcoming to others? Are we examining our systems and sharpening them? Are we engaged?

HearthKeeping came because I wanted a strong yet feminine title. I love homemaker, housewife, tending hearth and home. All these terms and ideas needed to be included but with a tomboy feel, a woman in the Old West, gun in one hand, a horse at her back, tending her food in cast iron while she actively waits for her man to come back kind of word: HearthKeeping.