The Homemaking-Christian
(All the thoughts here are my personal ruminations and are subject to change as my understanding of theology and home change.)
Something in the Christian Homemaker community isn’t sitting right with me. I just don’t know why. I feel like I’m over here and over there, and this is connected to this, and this is helpful here, but don’t take it too far, and why aren’t the lines more clear! There is a lot of confusion around the spiritualization of our vocation because we want to be Christian Homemakers and we want to know how to do that. We want to know how we’re supposed to do this job differently than our neighbors, because we’re new creations. We want to know how our work is glorifying Christ and growing His kingdom. We want hearts like Mary when we feel oh-so-Martha. All good things, all good concerns. Unfortunately, I think we might, in our heart of hearts, if we’re not being careful, think there is some secret knowledge that we’re bringing to our homemaking because we’re Christians. We need to not treat our homemaking like we’re Gnostics.
Confusion comes because, pragmatically, it looks much the same whether Christians ultra-spiritualize the home or not. We all end up at the same place, practically. Laundry, cooking, and cleaning still must be done. Yards must be mowed, gardens and pets tended, blankies and stuffies found, stories read, sleep, and then it starts all over. Save us from the humdrum! Ultra-spiritualization helps us stay motivated. It makes us feel like what we’re doing is valuable on a grander scale. “I’m a foretaste! I’m an outpost!” If we all must scrub toilets, isn’t it better to be spiritual about it? Absolutely. But we need to be spiritual in the right way.
We would never expect a Christian janitor, firefighter, farmer, computer programmer, military personnel, or grocery store manager to say his calling, vocation, or business is a foretaste of heaven or a war outpost of Christianity, but I see this being done for homemakers.
This starts to feel like we’re setting a double-standard. My work is a FORETASTE. I’m functioning in an OUTPOST, but your work is just normal, ordinary work. This becomes problematic quickly. Most obviously, we are finding our motivation in something that starts to seem a lot like pride.
Ultra-spiritualization is a problem for two reasons:
It gives an earthly institution the work and promises of the church. The home isn’t a calling only given to believing women, but to all women of all times – Christian, atheist, pagan, Muslim, Roman Catholic, Protestant. In ancient times, the Middle Ages, and modernity women tend their hearths. Some pagans do it with greater love and grace than some Christians. Home belongs to the light of nature, to this earth, to creation. The passages in the Bible that clearly command a woman to manage her home aren’t saying this is only a Christian calling any more than the passages on marriage are saying marriage is only a Christian institution. They’re directing us how to we handle these earthly things AS Christians.
The church is the Foretaste of heaven, the church is on a mission, the church is the war outpost of Christianity in a dark and dying world. (That metaphor suits the church so much better than the home.) The church is the Christian community, not our earthly families[1] and not our homes. The church is the bride of Christ, not our homes, children (unless they’re believers), or even our marriages. There will be no marriages in heaven. It is dangerous to constantly give the rights, duties, and privileges of the local body of believers to our wonderful, worthwhile, but ultimately temporary homes. That is to worship the earthly gifts, provisions, and callings of the Lord instead of the Lord himself. And it steals from the Church her glory and grace, which also steals from the home its glory and grace.
It masks or hides the real value of the home by attempting to spiritualize it. Attempting to overly spiritualize the home instead of simply being Christians going about this earthly work masks, hides, and steals the very real value of home and homemaking. Home and homemaking are already one of the most valuable and worthwhile works we can engage in while we are pilgrims here. It doesn’t need a “Christian” veneer to make it more valuable. And we dare not cut our pagan sisters off from this work by acting like it is a special calling of only Christian women. We don’t deny a firefighter, doctor, or contractors their use of their gifts in this life by implying only believers can do those jobs, or that they’re somehow uniquely Christian with Biblical promises attached to them. They’re not, but they’re still good and valuable things for Christians to engage in.
It is always so tempting to ultra-spiritualize things. It feels good. It warms us. It makes us excited. Normal, everyday, spiritual living, living quiet lives, being homemaking Christians, as our providential, temporary work while we’re on this earth just seems so boring, bland, and dull. I think this is because we have overcorrected. In our rush to honor and extol the home and homemaking, as it has been trampled into the mud for several generations now, we have reclothed this work in the wrong glory. Is it glorious? Absolutely. But we need not rob the church of her glory in order to glorify homemaking. We need to understand the glory of our work just like the janitor, the firefighter, the gas station manager, and the computer programmer. (Hint, our work is amazingly glorious in and of itself.)
So how do we think about our homes and our work here as Christians and homemakers? We do our work as unto the Lord. We revel in the fact that we have been placed, called, and gifted to tend Imago Dei. That should make our skirts fly up, as Homemaker Chic would say. You, me, and the pagan down the street have all been placed in a position to serve eternal souls for however long they are here. We are the people tenders, people made in the image of God, believers and unbelievers alike. What greater glory do we need? We lovingly serve believers and unbelievers alike in our homes as “children of the Father and servants of Christ.”[2]
This is Eowyn all over again. She thought only death in battle was glorious and missed the glory of ruling and leading her people, the glory of womanhood, the glory of life. Once her thinking changed, she became a gardener and tender of living things.
Home and homemaking are life-long works full of ordinary, everyday magic. The longer I study homemaking, the more uniquely suited for women it seems to me—kinda like God knew what He was doing. The women I know who really lean into homemaking are happier, healthier, and calmer because they’re working as designed instead of frantically attempting to have it all.
This all begs the question, is there something different about the homemaking Christian compared to other homemakers? Absolutely.
Sanctification: Just like all other believers, God will use our work to sanctify us and make us more like Christ. He will do this with traffic jams, children, and floors that need to be swept. God can use and does use ordinary things to grow us. Just don’t confuse it with leaf turning, or normal improvement in the work that you are committed to doing every day. Practicing and improving aren’t things only for believers. Unbelievers can also grow their skills and learn to have better attitudes. Unbelievers can practice the virtues.
Daily Bread: We, especially we, Christian homemakers, get to pray for our daily bread and then get to see that prayer answered, often by “being the providential hands of God.” Every time I stop to contemplate that, it blows my mind. I pray for daily bread, and I’m the one the Lord has providentially placed to tangibly answer that prayer for my home and sometimes for others!
Prayer and Praise and Bible Reading: Our homes will probably have pockets of time built into them for prayer and Bible reading. Many a believing mom rises before the sun to read the Word and pray before her kids get up and the day gets going. Praise should reverberate through our homes. Every flower, sunrise, spider web, bird, bug, piece of clothing, shelter, story, and song can be lifted in thanksgiving and praise to our most High King for His generosity and beauty.
Witnessing and Catechizing our Children: For homes blessed with children, there will be an all-day witness to them of their need for the gospel and for the goodness of Christ. There will be catechizing of children, and even some apologetics. There will be Family Bible Study. There will be conversations about truth and what is right and wrong and why. Even in childless homes, there should be catechizing happening. We as believers should be well versed in our dogmas, creeds, confessions, and catechisms.
Church Membership: The idea of being a Foretaste of Heaven and a military outpost suits the church. (All good things are a foretaste of heaven, but there is Foretaste and foretaste.) As women well practiced in tending people, we should be at the forefront of our individual churches applying our skills to our fellow members. We should be warming our churches, tending the sick and needy, watching out for the lonely, welcoming and giving hugs all around. What we practice during the week can be a gift and blessing to our churches so that they are shelters for the weary.
Church-centered Life: This is probably the most extroverted difference; this is what your neighbors will see. If we are homemaking Christians, then we need to center everything in our home around being in church on Sunday. We need to not wing it, but actually think it through, know our people, and make sure it happens. If we hold to the means of grace, then that will impact our homemaking Monday-Saturday because we will always be thinking about what needs must be met to be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed on Sunday. Our attendance will be the hallmark of our life, not something that happens if no better offer has come along. When we get up on Monday morning, we should already be thinking about Sunday.
All of this practiced faithfully and diligently, is more than enough difference. We don’t need to try to be even more radically different than our pagan sisters. This will set us apart.
This is how a Christian goes about her work in the home, tending her hearth. She doesn’t view her home as an outpost or as THE Foretaste of Heaven, she views it as the work she’s been designed to do and given to do by a good Heavenly Father who is wise and kind and loves her. She understands that home is glorious and her work, though repetitive, is healing to the souls around her. She understands the temporary but very real glory of homemaking in a world that longs for home but debases the homemaker.
Dear Christian sisters, we don’t need to spiritualize our work. We don’t need to make the home more glorious – it already is. We don’t need to steal from the church to justify our labors; our labors are already good and necessary. There is no secret sauce that we’re simmering apart from our pagan sisters that makes us special. Let’s take care where we find our motivation and how we speak about our work. If we do that, we can build a community of homemakers generation to generation and watch as the Lord uses that to build His church how and where He wills. The Lord has used many a prayer from many a woman to save children and friends and family. Let’s pray, be in church, and tend our hearths.
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