Sometimes the truth slaps us in the face, arresting us in such a stark manner as to halt us in our steps. These mindset shifts are such a great blessing because they show us the fruit of our labors. God rarely works ex nihilo in our hearts and minds. These epiphanies come when all the things we’ve been imbibing interweave in our heads. We suddenly get a look at the whole or a section of the whole instead of individual threads.

I had an epiphany on the morning of Lughnasadh as I started my daily round of please-don’t-die watering. My body and my brain were about to start down some worn and compacted paths of anxiety. I was a bit fatigued after a beautiful, perfect day at the zoo with my sister and nieces. I had plants, chickens, and my other sister’s dog to keep alive. I had unfinished laundry to wash, dry, fold, and put away. I had first-of-the-month updates to do, and I had a work deadline. Everything inside me wanted to go into frantic mode.

Then a thought like lightning shot through my brain: Everything giving you anxiety is a blessing.

Wait, what? No!

Yes.

Living Things: Husband, chickens, plants, my sister’s dog—all these living things look to me and depend on me for their care. Some more than others, yes, but all of them are trusting their food, shelter, and clothing to me on some level. Look how blessed I am. I have a husband coming home at the end of the day who I get to feed. Look at my hens. Not only do they provide eggs, but they’re ridiculously fun companions. Look at the beauty my plants provide, along with herbs, and some fruits and berries. Look at my sister’s dog. She signifies an opportunity to serve, and I’ve had the joy of sharing in the doggy-full-body-wiggles excitement of a walk each morning. Each of these things is a gift, and each requires something of me. But I can’t allow the responsibility to trample the great blessings here.

Laundry: The laundry left undone yesterday so I could go to the zoo needs to be done today. I could berate past-me for not finishing the job, but that’s silly. There are only so many minutes in any given day. Instead, I can realize that I have laundry! I have clothes! Clothes, ladies! I think sometimes we forget how wealthy we are. I have lots of clothes. We’re not wearing rags. I have fun and beautiful clothes. I have clothes for different seasons. I’m not naked or wearing rags. I am bountifully cared for. Even the throw I had to wash because it got chocolate on it points to bounty: I get to eat chocolate!

Dishes and Beds: Dishes have to be done, and beds should be made every morning. I have a bed I get to sleep in tonight! This bed has sheets, blankets, pillows, and even decorative pillows and a pretty throw. I have food to eat that I’m not eating off the floor with my fingers. And not only that, but I have pretty dishes, silverware I like, and neat glasses. I have a family heirloom for a table and tablecloths. I have lamps, napkins, and mason jars. Not once in my entire life has the Lord failed to provide for me, and not once in my life has He only provided barebones, poverty-level stuff. Even when we were at our poorest, we had wedding gift dishes and bedding. We have always been greatly blessed. I’ve always had options and beauty around me.

Work: Deadlines stress me out, but I have a deadline. I have work! I’m being paid for my skills, and not just any skills, but my skills as a writer. I’m being paid to write! When did I stop being awed by that? The blessings don’t end there. I get to take that money and exchange it for things for my home. (Looking at you, American Blossom sheets!) My love of writing is bringing bonus things into my home.

I’m beyond blessed. I’m so blessed I can barely handle the weight of so much good in my life. Every single thing I feel anxious about is actually God dealing so unbelievably bountifully with me. Each frantic whisper of “I’m late, I’m late, I’m late,” each tinge of “I’ll never get this all done” is a moment to step back and look at the blessing. Blessings always come packaged with responsibilities—families, friends, churches, communities, marriages, homes, cars, food, clothing, education, citizenship, hobbies, health, creativity, imagination. Nothing is ever given to us without a responsibility attached to it. But we can’t lose sight of the blessing because of the weight of the work.

Homemakers, this is me throwing you a rope so you don’t drown in troubled waters alone.[1] The never-ending rub of life can blind us to our blessings. It takes labor to keep our eyes on the blessing. It takes wisdom to decide when the responsibility cost outweighs the blessing. But this is a way we can guard our homes from chronic franticness and anxiety. This is how we can guard ourselves from burnout and bitterness. This is how we can pull up the weeds in our hearts and replace them with good seeds: look beyond the weight of the duty to the blessing!

[1] Yes, I’m quoting Troubled Waters by Alex Warren. I’ve been listening to it on repeat for two days since a reader linked it to my book Stoneheart.

Blessings and Anxiety

Soft and Sturdy

Weather, Seasons, and the Homemaker